Johnny Dzubak.

Starting Over

Have you ever moved away from your friends and family to start over in life? A lot of people get that chance in college. I grew up in a town 30 minutes outside of Pittsburg. My town growing up was all shut down and cold. When the steel mills closed in the late seventies, so did my town of 40,000 people, two malls and a boarded-up Troutman’s building.

I always would stare off into space feeling that there was more to life than what I was seeing on a daily basis. People seemed to grow old there really fast. I had dreamed of leaving there as early as I could remember. I never knew where I was going to go, but that really did not matter. I moved out of my parents’ house when I was eighteen and moved into an apartment with friends in the center of town. I started thinking I was living terribly in a town I hated, and did not see any reason why I could not live terribly in a place I liked.

When I turned twenty-one. I had an opportunity to move to Chapel Hill, North Carolina. My roommate at the time practically packed my car for me and gave me a nudge to go. I was nervous, but knowing I had to leave was more pressing to me. I really did not know much about it other than it was a college town and had a budding music scene that impressed me enough to go. I only knew one person there and he was about to move away but I went anyhow.

All my friends I had hung out with in PA gave me a hard time about leaving. Things like, “You’ll be back in a month,” and “You can never leave here,” kept being said to me. I would have thought they would have been happy for me. It was upsetting to me, but I knew what it was - jealousy that I was getting out. My so-called friends wanted to see me fail so they would feel good about their own positions in life.

When I got to Chapel Hill, I remember stepping out of my car and taking a big breath of air. It was the most freeing breath I had ever had in my life. I can remember how different the water tasted and how good it was. I quickly drove into town and checked out the bars, restaurants, and the people. Everything looked brand new and the streets were so clean. I started to go out as much as I could to see live music and began making friends.

Before long I had a very fun social circle of positive party fun people around me. I was sleeping for the first time in years. I woke up ready to explore everyday. My life had truly really begun.

Starting over in your life is not hard. I have done it a few times now. If you do not like where you are, you do not have to stay. I will also say that there is no perfect time to go. You can wait for the stars to align your whole life. The fun part of it is you will actually see what you are made of. You can never really know what you are capable of till you are in a no-option situation. That was how I was able to do well. I had no option. It was survive or go home.

I would recommend that everybody once in their life pack up and spend some time somewhere that they have dreamed about and explore who they are and the world around them. It is an experience that I will never forget. It really accelerated the process of becoming who I am today.  Understanding that the entire world was not as damaged and hopeless as the world I grew up in was one of the best things for me to see.  Sometime you have to leave the forest to see the trees.

I live in NYC/LA now and they are some fantastic places but I will always have a special place in my heart for NC.